Dear CTE community:

This is a follow up to the post I made in the CTE Facebook group last winter updating you on where things stood with the allegations against me. As many of you know by now, in March of 2018, Palki Mawar posted on Facebook accusing me of raping her in one of her sessions with me. 

I want to be crystal clear: I did not rape Palki Marwar. 

I have always felt that what happens in session should be held in confidence. However, she has decided to make public her accusations and join with a few others who have misrepresented and even fabricated their interactions with me, and now that the court case has been heard and closed, I can speak freely about my experience with her as a client.

I am sharing this experience within our CTE container only as I do not wish to cause harm or feed drama on social media. 

Palki had four sessions with me. The first and fourth were uneventful sessions in which I only provided her with sacred spot massage. In the second session, Palki reached into my underwear, grabbed my erection and pushed herself on to me while I was holding myself up and moving upward on her body. I withdrew to wash myself and then carried on with the session. She apologized for this and thanked me both in person and over text for handling it so gracefully. She then sent me a long thank you letter letting me know how helpful our work together thus far had been to her. Two months later she came for her third session. The session was difficult as she tried three times to initiate intercourse again. On the third time I made the decision to ignore my own boundaries allow it for a few moments in hopes she would settle down into the session. I put on a condom, said a few words about advanced practice, and allowed her to take me in. I held myself still, pulsed my PC muscles a few times and after 3-4 minutes removed myself and carried on with the session. 

Months later, Palki began to question what occurred. We exchanged texts about it and a discussed it in a phone call. I took responsibility for my part and apologized for any hurt she felt. She stated in her texts that she did not blame me as she was a willing participant and that she had no desire for boundaries at the time.

Over the course of the several months we continued to exchange friendly text messages. So, I was surprised when she brought a complaint about it to Charles and Leah. Together the four of us went through it all again. She finally seemed to be in a peaceful place about it. So much so she twice messaged me and asked me to come to see her in LA so we could trade sessions or she could give to me. I did not reply to her offers as I was traveling. I believe it was at that time that she was influenced by some women who have held a grudge against Charles and SSTY for years as saw this as an opportunity to damage the reputation of both me and the school. I believe they convinced her that what was a mutual decision, albeit in hindsight a very bad one for both of us, was actually a rape. 

After making public accusations against me on Facebook and failing in her attempt to file criminal charges against me (the police told her that she had no case because she admitted that I never forced myself on her) she filed a small claims action trying to get a $10,000 judgement against me. In small claims court only 10 minutes is allocated for each case. We appeared in court on Dec. 7, 2018. In the short time we had, the judge did not allow me to fully explain what occurred or present my evidence. For this reason, I did not expect her to find in my favor, and she did not. She awarded Palki $10,400. Fortunately, due process in small claims court allowed me to file an appeal, and fortunately the appeals process provided more time to get at the truth. 

The new hearing was held on April 9, 2019. In this final court date, the judge gave the case her full attention. She allowed the hearing to go much longer than usual, even staying well after court hours to hear all the evidence from both sides. She listened carefully to the testimony and she asked insightful questions. 

We gave the judge the full transcripts of the text conversations after each of the sessions in question for her to review. I was also able to submit texts and emails in which Palki took responsibility for her actions and apologized to me several times for her social media posts. The judge said there was a lot to look at and that she needed go over all of the documents before she could make a decision. She predicted 5-7 days however she took over three weeks to review all the documents submitted (including the misleading blog post that Palki and others collaborated on to bolster her case, as well as several affidavits from her friends). The judge determined that there was no sexual assault and that I did not owe Palki any money. Her decision is final.   

Following the decision, Palki went on social media again calling me a rapist and also calling for people to spread the word that I am a rapist. Regardless, I continue to want nothing more for her than to find the inner peace, healing, and empowerment she was seeking when she came to see me back in 2017. It is for this reason I am not sharing this letter in a more public way or on social media. 

I have dedicated my life to protecting and helping people, especially women. I recognize that despite my best attempts to exercise the highest level of judgement I had available to me, I made some choices that caused hurt and pain. This has been incredibly heart-wrenching for me to learn. I am far from perfect and I continue to work to become conscious of my blind spots and be the best man I can be, including pursuing personal counseling and deep shadow work. 

Through this inner work I have learned more clearly than ever that it is critical to enforce your own boundaries in sessions, and in life, no matter what. For years I ignored signs from my body that I was working too much. I thought serving others was more heroic and that I was skilled enough to blur the lines at times in the name of service. 

I deeply regret that my short comings have caused hurt. I apologize to the SSTY CTE community for the way my choices contributed to the unsettling of our community.  I hope that other CTEs will benefit from my learning and also see the importance of adhering to the new code of ethics and policies and procedures put in place at SSTY.

I wish to thank the hundreds of you who have continued to believe in me and offered me your love and support throughout this painful process. I appreciate your patience in waiting for me to share the full story of my experience in my own time. I also offer my deepest thanks to everyone seeking ways to bring about healing and harmony in our community. 

If you have questions about any of this, please email me directly at tj@dakalove.com. 

Love and Blessings,

Tj

UPDATE 2021: 

Several colleagues have asked me to share more fully what I have come to learn since writing the letter above because Palki has tried to create discord in other communities. 

Since her false claim against me, I have learned that Palki continues to go to self-growth workshops and shares this story even adding that I kidnapped her and held her against her will for days - also a complete and utter fabrication. I was told by a coach she engaged that she has now accused many other respected teachers and coaches of sexual assault or other bad behavior with her. 

Be Scofield who wrote the blog was removed from Medium for her unsubstantiated claims. She is now under FBI investigation for her online harassment and cyber stalking of numerous teachers with unsupported and fabricated allegations.

Two of the women who made up content for that blog had competing Tantra schools, both have since closed their businesses and left the country. 

One woman reached out to me and acknowledged that she exaggerated the story under pressure from the group and apologized to me for claiming our experience was anything other than fully consensual.